I Literally Cannot Even with Mortal Kombat X

I suck at fighting games. This is a hard admission for me because I’m generally good at everything I do. That’s not an exaggeration. I am overly phenomenal at any game I pick up – real life.

Even knowing of my handicap with fighting games, seeing the fatality videos made me want to get Mortal Kombat X. Brains getting spilled all over the place, the decapitation, the gore…what more could a girl want?

Skill. I want skill. I have none of that.

I’ve thought about different reasons why I’m so bad at this game. Most of them end up with excuses. I think the biggest issue is it would take legit time and practice for me to even think about competing against another person. I can’t beat AI on easy, how am I supposed to take down another human being?

I’ve never been a huge fan of fighting games – and I’ve played them all. Street fighter, Dead or Alive, Soulcalibur. They all turn into button mashing messes that usually end up with me in tears of rage throwing my controller and everyone telling me to calm the fuck down.

One of my biggest obstacles is the analog stick. I am not an original console gamer. Runescape dominated most of my early gaming years. The first console I ever owned was a PS2 so the analog stick is the only thing I know. Everyone knows a game like Mortal Kombat X is best played with the D-pad.  I fumble with the D-pad to complete minuscule tasks in other games, I’m not pulling off any cool combos relying on that thing.

I normally have no problem taking time to learn a game. I spent hours (and money on a second Xbox Live membership) to teach myself how to use a sniper rifle in CoD. I spent months learning the mechanics and champions in League of Legends. Practice makes perfect and a perfectionist is what I pride myself in being. So what’s the deal?

The strategy eludes me. How a game with such simple controls can be so out of my league annoys me. Watching other people string together combos that my fingers seemingly don’t have the dexterity for confuses me. My brain doesn’t have the power to figure out how to learn this game.

With all that being said, do I think that Mortal Kombat X is a bad game? No. The fatality sequences might be a little over the top. The dialogue is super cheesy. The characters are improperly dressed. But isn’t that the reason we like fighting games in the first place? The graphics look great, the mechanics are smooth. and everyone seems overall pleased with what they got. That’s what makes a good game, right?

Do I think I wasted my money? Not really. I can still get $33 back from Gamestop and the time I spent practicing the fatalities was well worth the other $27. I hope that the next person who has their hands on this game enjoys it more than I did.

Does this mean I’m giving up? Yeah, I know when to cut my losses. At least I can say I tried, Amirite?! Since I won’t be kicking any ass in Mortal Kombat X, I’ll just camp with my sniper rifle and ruin someone else’s day.