Top 3 Things I Hate About Thief

What is the deal, good sirs? Humble host of theMulticast podcast, Basher here. Let’s be honest. We all knew this was gonna blow. We were excited until we saw the first few videos. Something about it just didn’t impress. Turns out, there were a lot of things that don’t impress. Even the critics call this a snore. Allow me to pile on and get some things off my chest.

1. Floating Voices

As you move through the areas in Thief, you will hear the conversation of the NPCs. They may gossip, provide a clue, or even tell you where treasure is. It is really neat. Until you realize that they are loud as hell. On top of that, they tend to overlap each other. I entered a pub to buy some thieving equipment and my game turned in to a horror movie with a all black audience. I can say that, I’m black. Worst part is, I don’t know who was saying what. This drives me mad when traversing the dark city streets and all of a sudden I hear some loud ass guard talking about nothing. Of course I hug a corner and wait to see how close he is to me. Only to find out the asshole was four blocks away. Turn down for what? How about for my sneaking?

2. Save the Cheerleader, Save the World

Well the story is set off by your young, dumb apprentice being young and dumb. Why Garrett continued with such a troubled youth, I will never know. Or the game told me and I didn’t care. Here’s the thing about storytelling and character death. For me to care, you need to have me develop a caring relationship with him or her. For example, Aeries in  Final Fantasy 7 was your best party member. For hours! Only to be taken from you by Sepiroth. That was a devastating death. Not a devastating death is Robin with a tampon crying about being a better Thief than me. Dear Ms. Thief chick, you go to hell. You go to hell and you die.

3. Artificial Intelligence

There are some games you play that you think the AI was pretty good. Most times, if they do their job, you don’t notice it too much at all. But every now and then, you get the brain dead AI that ruins games. Thief is full of it. I don’t care what custom difficulty you want to play on, Tony Stark. The enemies in this game provide no challenge at all. Too many times are you inches away and they still don’t see you. There is a side mission where you have to follow the town drunk. The two guards greet the drunkard as he walks up. As the three NPCs have a “hilarious” conversation, guess where I am. Right next to the drunk! Hip to hip. Metal Gear Solid on Nintendo had better AI. The AI is so bad that I would rather play Assassins Creed 3 again just to get a more realistic experience. You’d think the challenge would increase later on. As games are supposed to do. It does not.